--------- Dream: The Doomed Fragility of Sora Jingu Memory: The Fateful Encounter of Yugo Jingu Memory: The Contradictory Existence of Sora Jingu Memory: The Necessary Hypocrisy of Sora Jingu Memory: The Loving Cruelty of Sora Jingu Memory: The Endless Sorrow of Sora Jingu Memory: The Unhinged Madness of Sora Jingu (YOU ARE HERE, only this memory will happen, yup) ---------
By Tuesday, Sora wasn't doing too hot.
When Anise encountered her, in one of the hallways, Sora was walking down it, without a concrete destination. Her steps were slow, her countenance pale...and her gaze a little unfocused. She looked overwhelmed, truthfully. When she sees Anise not too far away from herself, Sora doesn't even greet.
No need to greet, though, because what comes needs no word from Sora. The memoryshare has been merciless with Sora Jingu.
And now, she's going to get once another bitter reminder. One she had already seen too many times during the last 24 hours...
Anise got an answer she had been seeking, and more information than she bargained for. Not only she has a better idea of what an Ideal is and why Sora protects it so badly, but also now knows the woman standing in front of her is nothing more than trouble. Absorbed people, among them the husband she had been talking about so much? The son, who she had mentioned at least once before during that same spiel? Absorbed who knows how many more...? And isn't even Sora Jingu, but a pale shadow of that woman, wished by Yugo Jingu in the depths of grief?
Sora doesn't even react much, having stared in direction of the memory playing out in the void. When it ends, she turns her head towards Anise]
[Sora nods upon the question. Her tone is conversational, but a little flat, as if she was trying to make it the factual truth, but her voice wavers every bit in a while. Sora Jingu really seems at the edge of a breakdown.
This entity isn't breaking under the weight of the murdergame, she came into it already broken...but there's something about it all that makes it really hard to pity. Maybe that she's...unnatural. Wrong]
There was so much before, but now only a small piece remains...but as long as it exists, as long as it's...here...in this ship...
[She goes to answer the next question]
...why, I'm...Sora Jingu. The wife of Yugo Jingu. He loves her, she loves him. I protect the...the world from distortions. I protected his world...I saved him from death when he was about to perish, and now I protect my world: the one in which he exists. [She puts a hand on her chest] As long as the Ideal exists, he's still here within me. Our son is still here within me. The students, the faculty they loved is still here...all of them safe and happy.
[Yeah. She really did absorb more than a hundred people -- the majority of people present in the Academy during the events of Monark]
...I won't let go of the love...I don't want to let go. I have to be Sora Jingu.
[She's sincere, she truly loves Yugo with all her being, but...it isn't right. Yugo threw himself into a delusion of the love he and the real Sora had, and little by little throughout the years the entity began to actually get fixated on him, coming as close to love as a thing like her could be.
That's better destroyed. Too bad the guy is too dead for it to be any good for him now]
[Sora shakes her head forcefully, like she's trying to block out a lie]
No. It doesn't have to be a delusion. The things I have done...is what she'd have done. She'd give her life to protect everything she loved. She'd be kind to others, she'd be harsh when needed. It's the same, isn't it? Fake it till you make it, they say!
[Probably not wrong. The real Sora Jingu had a ruthless streak, and she truly loved the world so much. But that doesn't change this entity is not her. No matter how hard it clings to this identity, this will never be more than playacting, an entity that in its madness tries to mold itself into something it isn't. The pact may have been at first Yugo Jingu deluding himself, but soon this daemon's immaturity and inexperience with humans led to it becoming just as entangled in the delusion as he was.
To love Yugo, to be loved by Yugo, it all became the cornerstones of its identity. If it doesn't have those, then it's not Sora Jingu. At the start of the Eudora trip it had been holding onto its meager sanity, but that's been corroding at alarming speeds since a couple weeks ago.
Anise taking a step back doesn't go unnoticed. Sora chuckles]
...heehee...ah...it seems...I have caused the trust on me to fade...I'm sorry, Ms. Tatlin. I truly am.
[she has been straining her cr with people during these couple weeks pazu it has been quite something to play haha]
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Week 3 -- Tuesday
---------
Dream: The Doomed Fragility of Sora Jingu
Memory: The Fateful Encounter of Yugo Jingu
Memory: The Contradictory Existence of Sora Jingu
Memory: The Necessary Hypocrisy of Sora Jingu
Memory: The Loving Cruelty of Sora Jingu
Memory: The Endless Sorrow of Sora Jingu
Memory: The Unhinged Madness of Sora Jingu (YOU ARE HERE, only this memory will happen, yup)
---------
By Tuesday, Sora wasn't doing too hot.
When Anise encountered her, in one of the hallways, Sora was walking down it, without a concrete destination. Her steps were slow, her countenance pale...and her gaze a little unfocused. She looked overwhelmed, truthfully. When she sees Anise not too far away from herself, Sora doesn't even greet.
No need to greet, though, because what comes needs no word from Sora. The memoryshare has been merciless with Sora Jingu.
And now, she's going to get once another bitter reminder. One she had already seen too many times during the last 24 hours...
But now, someone else was going to see it as well.
Anise got an answer she had been seeking, and more information than she bargained for. Not only she has a better idea of what an Ideal is and why Sora protects it so badly, but also now knows the woman standing in front of her is nothing more than trouble. Absorbed people, among them the husband she had been talking about so much? The son, who she had mentioned at least once before during that same spiel? Absorbed who knows how many more...? And isn't even Sora Jingu, but a pale shadow of that woman, wished by Yugo Jingu in the depths of grief?
Sora doesn't even react much, having stared in direction of the memory playing out in the void. When it ends, she turns her head towards Anise]
...ah. Ms. Tatlin. So you're here.
[Any questions, Anise?]
no subject
[ uhhhh. boy! looking nervously at her non-reaction. ]
... Who or what exactly... are you?
no subject
This entity isn't breaking under the weight of the murdergame, she came into it already broken...but there's something about it all that makes it really hard to pity. Maybe that she's...unnatural. Wrong]
There was so much before, but now only a small piece remains...but as long as it exists, as long as it's...here...in this ship...
[She goes to answer the next question]
...why, I'm...Sora Jingu. The wife of Yugo Jingu. He loves her, she loves him. I protect the...the world from distortions. I protected his world...I saved him from death when he was about to perish, and now I protect my world: the one in which he exists. [She puts a hand on her chest] As long as the Ideal exists, he's still here within me. Our son is still here within me. The students, the faculty they loved is still here...all of them safe and happy.
[Yeah. She really did absorb more than a hundred people -- the majority of people present in the Academy during the events of Monark]
...I won't let go of the love...I don't want to let go. I have to be Sora Jingu.
[She's sincere, she truly loves Yugo with all her being, but...it isn't right. Yugo threw himself into a delusion of the love he and the real Sora had, and little by little throughout the years the entity began to actually get fixated on him, coming as close to love as a thing like her could be.
That's better destroyed. Too bad the guy is too dead for it to be any good for him now]
no subject
But that's... just a delusion, isn't it?
no subject
[Sora shakes her head forcefully, like she's trying to block out a lie]
No. It doesn't have to be a delusion. The things I have done...is what she'd have done. She'd give her life to protect everything she loved. She'd be kind to others, she'd be harsh when needed. It's the same, isn't it? Fake it till you make it, they say!
[Probably not wrong. The real Sora Jingu had a ruthless streak, and she truly loved the world so much. But that doesn't change this entity is not her. No matter how hard it clings to this identity, this will never be more than playacting, an entity that in its madness tries to mold itself into something it isn't. The pact may have been at first Yugo Jingu deluding himself, but soon this daemon's immaturity and inexperience with humans led to it becoming just as entangled in the delusion as he was.
To love Yugo, to be loved by Yugo, it all became the cornerstones of its identity. If it doesn't have those, then it's not Sora Jingu. At the start of the Eudora trip it had been holding onto its meager sanity, but that's been corroding at alarming speeds since a couple weeks ago.
Anise taking a step back doesn't go unnoticed. Sora chuckles]
...heehee...ah...it seems...I have caused the trust on me to fade...I'm sorry, Ms. Tatlin. I truly am.
[she has been straining her cr with people during these couple weeks pazu it has been quite something to play haha]
no subject
[ don't heehee!! ]
-- Because what you're saying doesn't make any sense. Your husband, your family, they're inside you? What does that even mean?